Hey, I don’t judge. I just hope this spell doesn’t either. Fucking magic anons…
[He proceeds to growl disgruntled noises that are about as eloquent as a keyboard smash.]
[He opens his mouth to respond, but quite abruptly, they’re at Helix’s place, and he has to slam down on the break not to impact with the greenery.
Once stopped, he droops into his seat with a sigh.]
Apologies for the whiplash. The instructions weren’t exactly clear on when we would arrive in this… alternate dimension type place. [Unlocking the door, Puzzles steps out.]
Yeah, I’ll do that — how about YOU focus on driving.
[Swag reaches back to get the water, and his inbox updates.]
What?? Fucking anons playing games with-
HAHAHAHAA loooool anon #2 saves the day!
[Swag looks at Puzzles.]
So, hey, this might be an awkward time to ask but what defines a “True Love’s Kiss”?
[The car swerves, yet again.]
That’s the requirement? [He bites his lip.] This is one of the few areas where I’m not well informed, but I assume the same rules as seen in ‘Frozen’ apply.
And not a word about me having seen that.
Maybe a kiss from me or you would work? Since there’s mutual love. Of some sort.
[Swag finishes typing an answer back and proceeds to get the bottle of anti-anon pills from his pocket.]
How many should we use? It’s not like this thing came with a dosage recommendation. One usually works, but we’ll have to be watering it down to get it into a liquid…
They’re fairly large, so lets go wiiiith… five. [He tries to reach into the back, fails (and swerves the car a little), and then returns both hands to the wheel.]
There’s a bottle of water somewhere back there.
I guess I, uh, can’t argue with that.
[Swag slides into his seat and while he waits for Puzzles he (conveniently) checks his tumblr on his phone.]
Hey there’s some anon trying to give me cryptic advice.
[He leans over to glance at the screen of the phone while driving the car into the street. Fortunately it’s fairly empty.]
…I know we’re Riddler’s and all, but what a time to be cryptic.
Tell anon he’s a jerk, love Puzzles. And then ask for straight answers.
[Swag nods his head.]
Yeah, you’re right. It’s worth a try. Whatever we can try, it’s worth a try. …I wish she’d told us what the anon said. If we could find out the specific wording maybe we could find a loophole or something!
[Puzzles grabs Swag by the arm and starts to drag him towards his car.]
You can play detective while I sprinkle her with pill-juice and hope for the best. And I’m driving, obviously.
[He hopes into the front seat, opening the passenger door for Swag.]
[Swag takes a deep breath, forcing himself to think.]
Do we… do we know it happened?
[Maybe more information would make this possible. …it had to.]
It definitely happened already. I checked.
[He groans a little.] This would have been easier had she given some specifics.
…Do you think the pills will work if we dissolve them in water first and…? Alright, I’m reaching a little. It’s worth a try, though, yes?
Well, I did plan to have her consume the entire bottle, but it’s a little hard for her to do so while she doesn’t have a functional mouth.
[He looks a little frazzled, absentmindedly messing with the threads of his sweater vest while he thinks.]
She’s turned into a statue, you see, and I don’t think force feeding a statue those pills will have the intended effect. Do you have any ideas?
What?! No. A Yaoi variety, where did you get this word, hon? Seriously… I saw you with someone else, dear.
The internet has introduced me to a great many things. I learned to stop clicking the links my fans sent me pretty quickly.